TRUST ME I KNOW WHAT I'm DOING

Hi, everyone. My name is Shruthi Kumar, and I'm a recent graduate of Harvard University. And you're listening to Trust Me, I Know What I'm Doing.

My name is Abhay Dandekar, and I share conversations with talented and interesting individuals linked to the global Indian and South Asian community. It's informal and informative, adding insights to our evolving cultural expressions, where each person can proudly say TRUST ME I KNOW WHAT I’m DOING.

Hi, everyone. On this episode of TRUST ME I KNOW WHAT I’m DOING, we share a conversation with activist and recent Harvard graduate, Shruthi Kumar. Stay tuned.
You know, whenever I think of a time period of our lives when there is a true negotiation between our own identity and the world around us, it's college.

For all the things that people perceive about college life, it's unmistakably such a formative and important time of building confidence and trust, exploring the centers and edges of ideas, figuring things out, and discovering your individual internal and external expressive voice. And speaking of your voice, thank you all so much once again for listening and watching TRUST ME I KNOW WHAT I’m DOING and for sharing this with your friends and family. Your support reminds everyone that conversation is the antidote to apathy. And if you're enjoying these, please follow and subscribe and share a kind rating and submit a review wherever you might be getting this right now. I sincerely appreciate it.

Now with the world's events always in front of us and the backdrop for myself at least of having conversations with teens and young adults every day, and now 2 of my own kids in college, I've been more attentive to listening to and understanding the voices of an empowered youth. Young people everywhere are often embarking on a new transition around this time of year, perhaps into college or a new year of learning, perhaps on a new adventure of work or experience, or perhaps even some new project. This past year with activism and protests prompting many open questions on college campuses and institutions everywhere, Shruthi Kumar's voice was one that stood out for me. Shruthi is originally from Nebraska and recently attended and graduated from Harvard University in Boston.

Her achievements are broad ranging and impressive, being the founder of an international nonprofit for mental health education and infrastructure, an experienced orator, a leader of the South Asian Student Association on campus, and a champion for women's health issues and social justice. But it was her activism in capturing the campus zeitgeist and amplifying the 2024 student sentiment during her commencement address that this past spring certainly caught my attention and that of so many. Her speech was entitled the power of not knowing, and she pointed out how silence is rarely empty and often loud. Shruthi spoke of her experience getting doxed and marginalized, a compromising and anxious position to be in for anyone, as well as the incredibly charged campus atmosphere where dialogue and empathy seemed minimal and absent. Not only did her speech narrate the importance and ethic of embracing the unknown, but she also called out particular intolerance aimed towards students who weren't allowed to graduate, courageously asking, Harvard, do you hear us?

Shruthi is embarking on her next adventure in finance and entrepreneurship in Seattle, So we had a chance to catch up a few weeks ago to talk about her perspectives as a recent student and a new graduate. But I first wanted to ask her now with time and reflection if she's constantly discovering more ways to execute and exemplify the power of not knowing.

Yeah. So it's interesting. When I came up with kind of what I wanted to write about for the speech, I kinda walked into the speech writing process with this thing of, like, the power of not knowing sitting on my shoulders.

Right? There's a competitive process to to be the speaker, at Harvard, like, multiple levels of of work to do. And so the power of not knowing was, like you know, that was, like I scribbled it down in in a couple of my journals, my random notebooks lying around, like, okay. If I get the chance to do this, this is what I wanna say. Yeah.

Yeah. I think now, especially in the summer, moving into, like, being a recent grad, starting my early career, professional life, there's a lot that's, like, up in the air. There's a lot that I don't know. Right? Like, thinking about going back to grad school in the future or, you know, working for myself, or there's so many ways to take life forward.

And I think it's like a common feeling a lot of 20 somethings feel and maybe even later in life. Yeah. By the way, not limited to only 20 somethings. Exactly. It's this universal feeling of, like, what's what am I doing?

What's next? And so that uncertainty that I felt in in college was something that instead of running from, I learned to sit with. And that was really kind of, like, transformative in my in my college experience, and that's why I wanted to share it through the speech as well. First off, I mean, that that's it's a great time, especially after any kind of transition and change and period where there's a a shift from 1, I guess, venue to another, whether it's in academics or otherwise. I I wonder if those are natural ways that we either pause and reflect.

And yet, because there is this great embracing of not knowing something, sometimes that makes people anxious, and other times that makes people really, really joyful and really kind of enthusiastic about the discovery process more than anything else. And so far, at least in the response that you got from that and even in your own thinking now several weeks months since that speech. Yeah. Is it do you find it easier to execute on that a little bit, especially because of the transitions that you're going through right now? Yeah.

Definitely. I think it's like like you said, you know, you can be very optimistic about it or it can be anxiety inducing, and I think it's hard to be optimistic all the time. Right? It's hard to kind of maintain that high energy all the time. And so what I've been able to do as a result of, like, the summer and reflecting on the speech is also just hear everyone else's interpretation of what that means.

I heard people applying it to the business world and the professional environment and what it means and what it looks like in an office setting. And those are things that, you know, I wouldn't have thought of to apply this idea of not knowing too, but, like, other people had. And it was just fascinating on different social media platforms to see how people interpreted and took this concept of not knowing into their own experiences. And so, yeah, it's made it easier. It's made me feel like, okay.

Not everyone knows what they're doing. And a lot of these people that are now kind of talking about it, admitting it, getting that feeling out there, it makes it more comfortable to say, okay. No. I don't know what my 5 year plan is, but that's what makes me interesting. Right?

That's what makes me an amazing and interesting, exciting person is the fact that I'm I wasn't born knowing I would be a neurosurgeon or born knowing I was gonna be a lawyer. There was a journey to figuring that out. And knowing that journey, learning about that journey from someone, that's what's makes any individual exciting. Right? Makes any individual unique is how they got where they are, not just knowing where they're going.

And that validation is important to a degree. Right? And Mhmm. The but the the part of at least trusting the journey is Yeah. Ample at least, for some people and yet for other people, that's it's really kind of like, oh my gosh.

There's that's hard. It's it's there's not a lot of certainty there. And in your case, though, especially after you you mentioned that there are people who looked at that idea of the power of not knowing in different venues in venues that you hadn't even thought of before. Mhmm. For you personally, when you think now about that idea of trusting the journey, that I idea of the discovery process and being okay with that, is there an element also where as other people interpret that that it sort of provides a little bit more empathy for you as you go through no matter you know, for anyone, whether they're going through college or a job switch or or family transitions, that that idea of not knowing allows for a better sense of understanding and empathy and dialogue that's actually needed to, more than anything else, solve problems.

Yeah. Definitely. I think what it's taught me in conversation is I find myself asking different types of questions. Right? And when I'm talking to, say, high school students or mentoring kids about college and and everything, it's not like, what do you wanna be when you grow up, or what do you wanna do, and what is your career gonna look like as a job title?

It's more like, what are you passionate about? What do you bring to your community? What do you bring to your family? If I'm talking to, like, 20 somethings or early thirties, right, like, what has this job taught you, and what do you hope to learn from your next job? Right?

Rather than what is your next move, what city are you gonna live in. Right? Like Right. Those hard those hard and fast questions are difficult to answer, and people expect you to answer them with certainty. Right?

Like, this is the job I'm gonna be in for the next x amount of years, and then I plan to, like, climb this corporate ladder and become this. And it's like, okay. That's not what I'm asking. It's what I'm what I'm interested in is knowing how you sat in your experience as an entry level analyst and how that informs your next decision of where you wanna go. Right?

And that question opens up, I think, more space for people to be like, oh, like, I walked into this job thinking I was gonna feel this way. I actually felt this way, and that's what I learned about myself. Right? And then all of a sudden, you're learning so much about that person's journey and their experience, who they are as an individual rather than just, you know, what their next moves are. And I think, like, you know, that calculated conversation changes to become one that's more about getting to know each other and each other's journeys.

So I think that's really how it showed up for me is just the way that I talk to people and, you know, ask about their people's past and their futures, the way they've reflected on it. All of that teaches me so much just in in having those conversations more than I would learn from a job title. I used to ask a lot in the doctor's office about, like, you know, especially with kids, you know, what do you wanna be when you grow up? And I stopped doing that a couple of years ago because it was so much more interesting as you said to ask, well, what do you like doing? What do you what do you actually don't like doing?

What do you actually find yourself very passionate about? And I think you're right. Those are much, much more open ended, and they don't tend to be cul de sac questions, where Exactly. You know, the dialogue sort of stops. Well, yep.

This is what I'm doing, and, you know, what's next? And I have to admit that even as a as a parent, as someone with a lot of kind of backdrop of being Indian and South Asian in heritage, there, you gotta fight a lot to prevent yourself from asking that question, you know, a lot too. So I think that's really important. I mentioned the word empathy, and and then more and more I've been thinking a lot lately about spaces that kind of describe empathy and assumption. And and I begin to think of these kind of like I mean, for lack of a better way to put it, empathy pastures, it versus cramped boxes.

You know? So you have pastures or meadows of empathy, and you have these cramped boxes of assumption. And sometimes you need sort of thoughtful inquiry to engage that empathy, and sometimes you have to confine things to boxes in order to enact change and and solve problems very rapidly. And I'm curious now, like, in thinking about what you spoke about and now sort of in this period of transition. Have you found it easier to maybe harmonize the 2 together where you have, like, sort of areas of open space and yet sometimes you really do need to make very quick and fast assumptions in order to execute and make a decision on something?

Yeah. I think, empathy was a big part of the speech writing process and how I thought about it and how I thought about, you know, what I wanted to deliver it as. Right? You know, campus was a pretty crazy time couple months ago. Around commencement was the same time that, you know, the encampments were going on at universities across the world.

Harvard was wanting to make decisions that tried to honor its students and its faculty and, you know, didn't want it to be a crazy, like, fire show that, you know, we'd seen at, like, other universities. They were really trying to not do the worst. Right? And so I think in that kind of crazy time, there were there's lots of division on campus. There was people just like it was it was a tough environment to be in, to say the least.

And in that time, like, you know, I I myself am not a student activist by profession, by any means. Right? Like, it was not the heart and center of my resume, of who I am, of what I spent my time doing in college. There were other students that were at the forefront of this movement that were, you know, on on ground every day kind of, like, doing the things that activism needs to be doing. And I I was supportive and I and I, you know, followed along with all of that, but I wasn't necessarily poster child, like, student activist.

Right? Yeah. And so this moment, this opportunity to give the speech was more of, like, okay. I'm hearing from my peers. You know, I was one of the student leaders on campus.

I was a class marshal for the class of 2024. So I was hearing from students being like, is there anything you can do as a student advocate to, like, help us get our degrees? And we were calling up the deans. We were trying to, like, have these conversations at the higher level of the college. We were doing our best, and yet it just wasn't like it was hard.

Right? It was hard to kind of feel that momentum. When I was notified that I would be the speaker for commencement, it was actually the committee that I worked with that was made up of 3 professors at the college and 3 students. And they they suggested, like, you know, you should talk about what's going on right now in your speech. And, you know, it was it was that initial conversation and 4 weeks of working with the team that led to kind of what I, you know, said that day.

Of course, there were current events decisions made the day before commencement by the Harvard Corporation that definitely influenced what I what I added on to my speech. But empathy in that moment was key because I wasn't one of the students that, you know, had their degree withheld. I'm not Palestinian. I'm not Israeli. I have no, like, racial or ethnic per se connection to what's going on across the world.

But kind of seeing a lot of the South Asian community members who were on ground, like the leaders, the student activists, those were my peers whose degrees were withheld and for the reason of engaging in protest, which by, like, the freedoms of our country is a right that we have, right, as citizens of America. And so from a democracy perspective, I was just like, okay. This is not just. This is not what's going on here is, like, not sitting well with me. And, you know, my grandpa was there at at commencement.

My grandparents were both there. My parents were there, and they were worried. They were like, please don't, like, put yourself in harm's way. Don't take any dangerous decisions. You know, you have the responsibility of giving a speech.

Like, do it right. You know, why you know, at one point, like, my family was like, why you're not Palestinian. Why why do you care kind of thing. Mhmm. And I was like, yeah.

Like, I'm Tamil. I'm Indian. I'm, you know, South Indian, whatever. I have these identities. I'm not necessarily directly connected, but people are dying.

Right? And I'm like, we're human. We're all human. We can only imagine what that pain and suffering feels and looks like. Like, we are in such a privileged position to be, you know, physically safe and, you know, have the things we need.

We're privileged to have that. But we're all human. We could we could imagine if that were us what that would what we'd be going through. And it's that level of empathy and thinking that really like, I feel like that's where the strength and the courage for me to do what I did came from was the people that were, you know, also empathizing. They were at the forefront of the protest doing these things.

And I was seeing them and I'm inspired by those students, at how much they cared about a humanitarian issue that they weren't really they didn't necessarily have direct ties to, but were passionate about. And so seeing those students inspired me and I think gave me the strength and courage to do what I did. Because looking back, I was like, that is I don't know how I did that. That was scary. It was scary.

Yeah. Totally. And and, you know, what you're talking about, actually, if anything, really does kind of encapsulate exactly what I was mentioning where you have these really, really important areas of empathy. And at the end, there's a calculus to making a decision as to what you wanna talk about, what you wanna actually execute. And, yes, there are risks involved.

Yes. There are even an understanding from people who you who care about you that may not actually exist in the way that you imagine and yet actually really relaying your thoughts in a way that's gonna be purposeful and authentic and and incredibly, I think, grounded.

You're listening to TRUST ME I KNOW WHAT I’m DOING. After a quick break, we'll come back to our conversation with Shruthi Kumar.

Stay tuned.

Conversation. It's the antidote to apathy and the catalyst for relationships. I'm Abhay Dandekar and I share conversations with global Indians and South Asians so everyone can say trust me, I know what I'm doing. New episodes weekly wherever you listen to your podcast.

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Hi. My name is Richa Moorjani, and you're listening to Trust Me, I Know What I'm Doing with Abhay Dandekar. Welcome back to Trust Me, I Know What I'm Doing. Let's rejoin our conversation now with Shruthi Kumar.

You know, you're someone who grew up in in Nebraska, and you wouldn't always equate being able to relate perhaps from finding common ground with Nebraska and the sort of campus at Harvard.

So I'm I'm just curious, like, both from this experience and even from the experiences that you had so far, what have you found in common actually growing up in Nebraska and being a student at Harvard? Yeah. I mean, it's a that's a big question. I think, I had a lot of self reflective moments throughout being at Harvard. They're 2 very different places like you mentioned.

Politically, the people, the diversity, are all things that are vastly different, I'd say, between Nebraska and and Harvard. My experience in Nebraska, I'd, you know, gone to public school for most of my life, but then in high school, I did go to a all girls, like, Catholic school. And so for me, like, that environment was completely new. I had never kind of been around that many people. There was not much, I would say, as much diversity as Harvard has by by far.

Right? Sure. And so my experience there, you know, going to a Catholic school, we were meant we were required to take theology classes. I'm not Catholic myself. So the way I showed up in that environment also required myself to have a little bit of empathy, right, to relate to, okay.

I grew up in a more, like, Hindu Indian household. Like, what did that look like? We were not super religious as a family, but very involved spiritually. And so thinking about questions about life and being a good person and what does it mean to be, like, a kind and, you know, humble and empathetic human being. You know, what are those things were a lot of the religious questions my parents grappled with and more of a spiritual light.

Right? And so showing up in a, like, in a Catholic space, I found I I looked for ways to relate to people around me, and there is common ground. Right? There is some shared sense of, like, what it means to be a good person, like, to do good for others, to not, you know, do harm for others. There is lots of things you can relate to.

And so I kind of, like, you know, found myself looking for those things in my theology classes, being able to relate in that way even if I didn't necessarily wasn't on the same page when it came to the mythology of religion. I I could relate to the core of what was, you know, a lot of what was being shared, but there were also lots of differences. There were a lot of things with the religion and the space that I really did not agree with and really did not relate to. And in those moments, I found myself standing up for what I believed, even in spaces where, you know, that was questioned or challenged. Harvard was, like, so much more or challenged.

Harvard was, like, so much more diverse. I'd never met the kind of people that I'd met, you know, on campus. And so, you know, it was like, okay, now it's time for me to be super open minded to just hear from everyone, take everything in like a sponge, and then sit with it and make my decisions based on what I'm learning from everyone rather than judging people, right, rather than passing kind of comments on why someone believes the way they believe and and, you know, questioning that. It's more about learning, okay, where do you come from, why do you believe what you believe, and, you know, is there something here that we can relate to? And more often than not, I always find that there is something between 2 humans, any humans in the world that is a shared experience, that is a common feeling, that is a common understanding of life.

Right? Let me ask you this. Yeah. It does did coming from Nebraska a place that was probably a little bit more with a little bit more homogeneity than being in in Cambridge or in in Harvard. Is it that much more difficult to find yourself actually making sure that you're sensitive to so many other different vantage points because it's a lot easier to sort of, like, swim in the same lane as, you know, everybody else Right.

If it's a little bit more homogeneous of of a society. I'm just curious whether or not that was something that you would at all had to negotiate. Yeah. I think there's definitely, like, you know, growing up in the Midwest is a very unique experience that is often underrepresented at universities that are like the Ivy Leagues. Right?

Like, that that experience of being from the American Midwest is is very different from coming from a coast because the exposure you have at a young age to a lot of things on the coast is not nearly what you receive growing up here. Right? Sure. For me, like, coming to Harvard, there was a lot of language that I needed to, like I I was hearing that I hadn't heard before. Right?

Like, very inclusive, sensitive language that wasn't necessarily, like, the everyday in Nebraska. Like, you know, as much as it was different and something I hadn't, you know, really been exposed to, I found myself kind of, like, learning. Okay. And it's a very liberal space. Right?

The East Coast, like, these colleges, they are very liberal spaces, and and Nebraska is conservative. Most of my neighbors, like, were Trump supporters. Like, it just, like, the space I was coming from and where I was going were, like, vastly different. And I don't think I really realized, until the end of my college experience how much different those two upbringings were. And so, yeah, there was definitely moments where I was, like, navigating new language, new approaches to thinking about things.

And in those moments, just found myself, like, questioning, okay. Is this gonna bother me and my decision making, or can I just be a respectful person for others, right, and create a safe space for others? And that was really it. It was like, you know, I I I can ask for what I need, and I can also respect what others need. I I love that.

You know, we we went from finding commonalities with what's actually in Nebraska and Harvard to Mhmm. In in a way, understanding those differences and sort of moving forward in a way that's respectful and kind and compassionate and all the things that you just mentioned. Yeah. You talked once about desensitizing in a speech you gave about the voice of democracy. As really sort of, struck by by that, Are those who wield power levers, of authority and investment for that matter, as well as those who found their voices, you know, especially in protest, are are they are they bound at some point to kind of suffer from complacency?

Because the the people who are actually in a position of power versus the people who are protesting against for that that matter, that power, if they get desensitized, is there the inevitable complacency that sort of sets in? And then again, how do you combat that? Yeah. I mean, it's a it's a big question, and I think it the the idea of desensitizing that I talked about in the speech that I gave at the Voice of Democracy competition, that was in 2020. And at that time, it was mass shootings.

It was George Floyd. It was civil unrest across the country. And you can ask the same question. Right? Were people desensitized to that?

Was every mass shooting we heard about just like the previous one? Like, are we desensitized to the kids that died in those, you know, situations? Same with, you know, police brutality and, the Black Lives Matter movement. Like, are we desensitized, right, as a society? And these things are not they're still happening today.

There's these problems Yeah. And they're not linear either. Right. Yeah. They they were on my mind in 2020, and they're still on my mind 4 years later, which means, as a society, have we really done enough?

And so, I mean, this time around when I the situation on campus and and, you know, talking about Israel Palestine and the issues going on in Gaza, You know, a lot of people I think at that time, it's very easy to become desensitized. It's all over the news. All you're seeing is, like, people dying. Right? And, like, as much as that is, like, the at its core, the most painful and horrific thing ever, you know, anything that you've had repeated a multitude of times can fall victim to that desensitizing.

And so I think that is why the work of these student activists is so incredibly important is because these students, amongst everything going on in their life, find the time to remind everyone on a daily basis that, okay, you might have everything in the world working towards you being desensitized or complacent, but we are here to remind you that that is not the case. Right? They are literally doing the reminding for you. It's a notification in real life that takes a lot of time and effort that these students are putting in. And they risk a lot.

They risk a lot to remind you that that this is something that should be on your mind. And so when it comes to, like, higher officials and people in power, I think when you get to that point, transparency is what is most important. That's what people and students and everyone across the world want to hear is, like, we we all know and we all understand that money is what moves these powerful institutions. It is at the heart and core of our, you know, our institutions and our schools, universities. Whether we like to admit it or not, it's there.

Right? And so it's a big part of how decisions are made and schools don't like to admit that. But I think the transparency from administrators would help. Right? It's like, okay, we have this is one factor of something we have to consider, but when you look at the humanitarian issue, this is where we stand.

And, like, that kind of if we can just, like, parse and separate out why we're making the decisions we're making and be transparent in that way, then I think the conversation between, say, students and admin becomes a lot more productive. It doesn't get to the point of, oh, I hate you. You hate me. Like, boohoo. Like, that's unproductive for everyone.

Well and and and I love the fact that you marry this idea of constant reminders that students and other activists are really, really pounding on, and that could be for any issue whatsoever. Mhmm. And the idea that transparency has to be the antidote for so that so that not only can those messages be very, very, you know, vocalized and and also be there for people to get reminded of it, but so that there can be actually really engaging dialogue. You you mentioned earlier that you have a a background as as a a South Indian, as a as a Hindu. I mean, all these identities, of course, that we all, you know, wear and and carry on us.

I'm curious, particularly as a a South Asian American, In the backdrop of all of this, what do you think have been some of the misconceptions commonly about South Asian students that you've encountered this past year, particularly in the context of of what you just mentioned with how student activism has evolved and and even bubbled up over this past year or so. Yeah. It's definitely something I've been thinking a lot about and reflecting on. I think brown America as it is has its own history of being in the United States, of the diaspora and, you know, where when and where immigration took place. And a lot of us, at least my parents, had immigrated to the US, and and their view of being here in the US is much different than myself who was born here and kind of understands navigates these type of situations differently.

And so I'd say, like, the older generations, parents and older, there there's a sense that I feel in the South Asian community of, like, being risk averse. And that sense of being risk averse is I I understand where it's coming from. Right? It's a sense of safety. It's, like, wanting to belong, wanting to assimilate, wanting to be a part of the place that you're going to, America.

Right? To to embrace that means to be risk averse in some way, shape, or form. And so I think for, like, South Asian students on campus, I was, like, really amazed to see how many South Asian students were mobilizing for this effort. Like, a lot of the people at the forefront of, you know, the effort on Harvard's campus, at least, were South Asian. It was really awesome to see that, and I think it was, like, a generational difference.

Like, I don't think that that necessarily was happening beforehand or in in a few generations before that because, like, they had to be risk averse in order to succeed. They had to be a little more careful in, like, what positions of power they were in and what they were saying because you were representing what it means to be South Asian in America, the decisions that you're taking. And so our generation, I think we we're having a little bit more of a, I don't know, this is like gen what is it? Gen x, gen alpha energy that's, like, upcoming. Right.

That is a little bit more like we are also Americans in the same we're not, like, hyphenated. We're not, like, you know, we don't have anything to necessarily attach ourselves to in terms of, like, proving that we are risk averse and safe and, like, we will do the right thing, and that is what we do proudly. I like, a lot of us were also very key members of the South Asian community at Harvard as well. And so we were also the ones, like, embracing our culture, like, doing the dance shows, doing the, like, you know, songs, the singing the the food, everything. We love all of that, but we also love standing for justice and saying what needs to be said when it needs to be said.

Like, I think we were we're figuring out a way to hold both in a way that I don't think brown America has seen yet. And so I I I think you're so right with that that, you know, it's it's yet another example of how two things can be true at the exact same time, and they shouldn't be mutually exclusive. And there are ways to, you know, not only just swim in every lane, but to be authentic about it, for sure. And I do think that there's, you know, there's a twist to this, of course. Right?

I mean, we have generate I I was born and brought up here, and yet I face these things a little bit differently as a parent, as someone who's a little bit now in my mid fifties. And at the same time, I know, thankfully, as you we talked about earlier, like, you know, it would be incorrect to assume that there are 70 or 80 year olds who don't believe in these movements and, you know, are not willing to lend themselves to, you know, put those that that risk out there.

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Every story told is a lesson learned, and every lesson learned is a story waiting to be told. I'm Abhay Dandekar, and I share conversations with global Indians and South Asians so everyone can say, trust me, I know what I'm doing. New episodes weekly wherever you listen to your podcast. Hey.

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Let's rejoin our conversation now with Shruthi Kumar.

You, I think, shared that that you did not actually participate in the in the protest encampments themselves. And and so I'm curious whether or not you actually found power or peace, or were there any surprises for you personally, like, even elements of, like, guilt or or even exclusion because you made a conscious choice not to necessarily participate or or be in one of those incumbents? Yeah. By the way, the reason I ask all that is because I do think that that students, humans, they go through all these emotions.

Right? When when you're really thinking about, like, how do I engage in a way that fits me? Yeah. Yeah. I think like you said, I I'm also human.

I, at points, was desensitized, you know, felt like I needed to check myself on my own complacency. You know, I was supportive of and loved the efforts that students were taking. But I think for me, the previous fall, I had been doxxed, and that was out of my control. I was one of the student I was the co president of the South Asian Association the year before. And so our board, my name, and everything had been leaked, and right wing organizations had kind of taken that on.

There was, like, a spreadsheet going around saying that we were, you know, anti semites and and all of this. And so that really scared me. I I genuinely, like, was fearful of leaving my dorm room for about 3 to 4 days because there was a truck parked in Harvard Yard with the faces and names of a lot of my South Asian peers, you know, just branded as anti semites. And it's like, seeing that really shook me. You know, my name and face wasn't on there, but, like, literally the people that were, you know, my friends, my peers in the movement were.

And a lot of them were brown. A lot of them were hijabi. Like, they were it's clear, like, the the motive of why someone would do this. It was so political. It was so disgusting.

It was very scary. It was terrifying. You know, it scared me for my personal safety, for my well-being, for my health, for my future, for my professional career. And it wasn't just me thinking this. It was all the the hundreds of South Asian students per students of color on campus who, you know, felt this type of fear.

And so coming back from that, like, it took me a while to, like, feel comfortable on campus again only to be hit with a lot of this in the spring. And so I think my personal decision making and, you know, that's why a lot of students wore masks during the protests, was to keep that anonymity and protect themselves. There's a lot of that stuff going on. Right? So, I think for me, it was just a little bit difficult to, you know, hold that fear and be in that space all at the same time.

And my I think there's many different ways of being involved and being an activist. Protests are awesome. They're, like, you know, really out there. They get the message going. For me, I think in that moment, I found my advocacy and activism in different ways.

For me, it was having personal conversations with my parents, with my grandparents, with my community members, with my friends from Omaha, with my friends at different colleges, learning about what other colleges were going through, how protests were happening at universities across the country, at state schools. That those were the types of, like, conversations, advocacy, and, like, stuff that I was interested in in doing and felt myself able to do in that moment. And then, of course, when, you know, the moment of the speech came around, that was also something I felt comfortable doing and felt very passionate and strongly about doing. And so I think it's also also about just, like, having a conversation with yourself and knowing, in this moment in time, what does my advocacy look like? What does it need to look like?

What can I do comfortably and in a space that is right for me? And I think that's the other thing is, like, villainizing people for not doing a certain type of advocacy or activism is also unproductive. Right? Yeah. Like, I love having, you know, conversations with higher level deans and people that need to be hearing these things, and I'm and I'm very happy to do that.

Immediately, we'll do that. And that's what I felt comfortable doing at the time. So that's kind of how I was able to engage the way I wanted to. What did you have to maybe in in getting comfortable with that and in going through those emotions and going through and finding again the both power and the peace in that decision. What'd you have to unlearn about yourself as a South Asian American college student in 2024?

What did I have to unlearn? That's that's an interesting question. One one major kind of learning that I went through was to not care so much about what everyone thinks. I think that's something that is very present in South Asian culture and in South Asian households is to always think about what other people might say and how they might perceive you and what you might be branded as or how others might understand you. And in that moment, like, there was a lot going through my head, right, in decision making when it comes to what am I gonna do, what am I gonna say, what would be right, what's the right thing to say, what are the right words.

A lot of that, you know, was like, okay. I will be branded as x, y, or z if I say this. I will be understood as x, y, or z if I say this. And I had to let go of that in that moment. I I really did.

I had to kind of, you know, let that go behind me and just think, what do I think is right for humanity and for people to hear? What message I have? All I have is about 6 to 8 minutes of an audience's attention. That's all I get. Right?

And what do I do in that time? What is right by me to do in that time? And so you do have to be a little bit a little bit, like, put the blinders on in in moments like that, and that's really what helped me connect with myself, connect with the power that I needed to to just have in that moment was to put the blinders on, to not see like, to not know what professors were around me, what parents would be watching me, what friends would be around me, the my friends' political views. Like, juggling all of that in my head at that moment would have caused chaos. Right?

I needed the blinders on to be able to focus on what my definition of justice was and how I wanted to achieve that. So I think that's the biggest thing I've unlearned is, like, knowing when to care about others' opinions and viewpoints and and, you know, welcome those when you need them, but also be able to put the blinders on when you need to as well. It's almost like a a great way to have that, hopefully, not just temporary clarity that you need to really just sort of get that empowerment and and and find a way to to express both the peace and the power. You meant you talk about, like, you know, people not being around you and, of course, being cognizant of them and yet expressing yourself in a way that is where you find that that clarity, you find that empowerment, especially in an in America where policymakers and politicians do not come from the generation of students, you know, the Harrison Waltz, ticket or the Trump and Vance tickets are of people who are are older, and they may have different political ideologies. Mhmm.

I make no mistake. I I'm a a very, very avid Harrison Waltz supporter. But when we think about those who are both in power and and running for for office related back again to policy and and their politics Mhmm. Find it at least, in this phase of your post student career and the students who are now, you know, coming. Do these policymakers, are they are they fitting the needs of the student community?

Or are they hearing the sentiment? Or are there still a whole lot of questions and unfinished business that's out there constantly Mhmm. That drive what the sentiment of student activists are? Meaning that, like, well, is it just it just not enough? Yeah.

Yeah. I think it's it's almost the way I see it, it's like people are having conversations, but not productively and not with each other. A lot of I think this the the environment, the political environment in America today is very polarized, and I find it very difficult to navigate conversations with people in today's day. And and I think this is something that I also just noticed growing up in Nebraska. I had a lot of friends who didn't believe what I believed, who were on the other side of the political spectrum, who just had vastly different views on issues that I did, but I was still, like, friends with them, acquaintances with them, neighbors with them.

I still respected them as human beings, like, as people. Right? And one thing that, like, just being in high in a very liberal space then in in Harvard, there's not always tolerance for views that are different from your own. And that I think is a reflection of the broader polarization in our country is that how willing are you to sit down and have a conversation with someone who literally believes the complete opposite thing that you do. Right?

Right. A lot of people don't even have the patience to do that anymore. They're like, you are a bad person because you believe what you believe. And I think that type of closing off is not productive for anyone. Right?

And so I think what I want to see from, like, presidential candidates, the Harris ticket, Trump ticket, whatever it may be, they're we're we're too far away from each other to be productive. And so, you know, as much as I might align one way or another, I I still just feel, oh, like, a vastly unproductive space Mhmm. Where, you know, people, like presidential candidates, but also people at universities, students, like, the types of conversations we're having, I think, just need to change in content for us to be able to be productive as a society, and as a government. And I think there's always more to be done with talking to students. Students have that mindset because we have limited time in college.

We, like, want we have studies. We have, you know, we're making friends. We have relationship. We have we're balancing all the things of life all at the same time. Right.

And, you know, you do that more as you grow to be an adult and take on more responsibilities and everything like that. But I think in that moment to make time and space for those conversations, to listen to the way that students are thinking, especially in an academic environment. You're having a lot of these discussions in class. You're talking about what civil disobedience looked like 50 years ago, a 100 years ago. You're reading civil disobedient books in in class, but then the minute that you do it on on campus and you, like, live those books and teachings, it's supposedly wrong.

Right? And so there's so much there's just inconsistency. There's inconsistency in our political spaces and in the way that we judge people. And so a lot of people like to brand student activists and Gen z as, like, they don't know what they're doing. They're just, like, endlessly fighting for something, and, you know, they they're never satisfied and blah blah blah.

But that's not the case. Like, students are very well informed. They know. They've done the research. They've done more research than any of these politicians have on the history of these issues, on how people negotiated in the past.

The the demands they make, the claims they make have substance, and I think respecting your opponent is something that we've lost in the political arena today, both at the presidential level, but also between admin and students. Respect the opponent for what they bring to the table and navigate those conversations as professionals. I think that's all that students really ask is hear us out as people and as well informed individuals rather than dismissing us as an uninformed body. Yeah. No.

That that's such a important interrogation that we have to sort of do with ourselves in order to respect and and listen a little bit more appropriately and also in a in an engaged way that that develops relationships more than anything else. I'll get you out of here on this. For for new students now entering this fall, they're entering a space that they haven't been in that's going to be one of discussion and activism and and really, a vibrant place, not only just for learning, but for Mhmm. But for growing and developing. And then also for those who are entering postgraduate life like you are and now embarking on their own on new journeys in spaces that are unknown and embracing that for sure.

What's something you believe they all collectively both of those groups perhaps, what's something you believe they should feel optimistic about now as as they go forward? I think we should feel optimistic that we are being challenged. And as difficult as it is to exist in one of the most stressful anxiety inducing climates that we've seen in the last, like, 50, 60 years. Right? Like, I talked to older people who've gone to college in different times, and, of course, there was, like, stuff going on, but the the anxiety and the level of stress that I think our country is going through right now is unprecedented to grow up in.

It's unprecedented to develop as an adolescent. And that's a challenge we're presented with. Right? It's not it nothing is easy. It's just it's not.

And I think that challenge is something that we should be optimistic about because it means that society is changing, that things are becoming better, becoming different, becoming more inclusive, becoming spaces for all of us to be in. Right? And and to not I think, like, walking into these spaces, they are not perfect spaces, so don't expect them to be. Right? Like, I think it's easy to glorify going to Harvard, going to Ivy League Schools or any big step.

Like, if you if no one in your family's gone to college, going to any college is a big step. Right? Those are glorifying. Those are moments that we tend to glorify, and we're like, oh, this is gonna be everything for me. This is gonna be perfect.

This is gonna have what I need. And it it might not. It it may fall short of those really glorified expectations. So and that's a challenge for you to do something, for you Like, that is an opportunity for you to make a difference in your community, for you to, like, identify the pain points and solve them. Right?

That's what future leaders and change makers do is they look for these gaps and they fill them. Right? And so I think that's what's exciting about our generation. I think we know that we want change to happen and we'll do it. And I think that's an exciting thing.

Like, if you're not challenged, you're not growing. And I think, like, that is what whether you're an incoming freshman or a graduating senior, you know, it's it's a moment it's a very special time to be in that moment where you're entering a new life, leaving an old one behind. And to to be excited about the challenge is what I is what's on my mind and what I hope other students also carry with them. Well, Shruthi, meeting the challenge, helping others to meet that challenge, and really embracing a lot that's both known and unknown. I know people are paying attention.

Thank you so much for joining us today. This This is really a treat, and I hope we can visit with you down the road. Of course. Thank you so much for having me. It was an awesome and fruitful conversation.

So thank you for the time and space. Thank you so much, Shruthi. And if you haven't heard or read her speech, please go check it out online. Appreciate everyone listening, and please share a review or a rating if you're enjoying this, and please please please go register to vote if you haven't done so already. It's the ultimate demonstration of your individual power.

Till next time. I'm Abhay Dandekar.